Here I go, it is 7:30pm the night after the winter solstice 2009, and I lace up for a run. I notice my posture is getting even stronger and my breath is equal to my pace, and it is dark while I run. The waxing moon high over Jupiter with misty clouds which damp down the light. I remind myself that in six months, the sky will be lit with sunlight. Then, I will be reminding myself that in six months the sky will be dark. Another cycle, another year, and I just assume I will still be running.
Tonight, I am hungry and tired. I worked a full day with clients. I still run. But tonight, I only run one mile. I have not run just a single mile in several weeks, if not over a month. I got home, and I noticed the washing machine was still washing. I looked at the digital display and thought, "Shit! I only ran for a lousy twelve minutes or less???? What??? I need to get back out there and push it!!!!"
Then, I had a moment of clarity. A moment when I realized that I just ran a twelve minute mile, and I am not even winded. I am not even sweaty! Just two months ago, running this same mile was over a twenty minute ordeal of wheezing, panting, leg cramping, and dire straights. In just two months, I have shaved over eight minutes off of one mile of run time, and I didn't even push myself the whole way.....WOW....Who Knew?
Who knew I could do this, who knew I would want to keep running through hang-overs and menstrual cramps. I am embarrassed at how many hang-overs I have had since starting to run, and yet I keep on running.
I think about how I wrap up in a scarf and big fleece sweatshirt with a hood. I think about the knit hat I wear to keep warm in the cold winter weather. I am glad the bulk hides my figure. I think about what it will be like to run in hot weather with less clothes, and I wonder what I will wear when it is over one-hundred degrees with the humidity.
I am thankful I started training in the cold weather when it is dark, less people can see me, as if they care, as if I care. This will be interesting to watch and wait to see what will become of me.