Tuesday, July 23, 2013

First Visit

Sitting at the Dr.'s office
Breast Specialist
OK, I feel fear now
My boob hurts.

I wonder what will be said
When will be the biopsy
How often will i have to 
Come back to this office?

I am alone here.
One person offered to wait with me
I turned her down 
Wanted privacy.

Every time the white door opens
I wonder if this time the nurse will call my name
The fear started two blocks from here
Will sweetness rise out of the pain?  

Driving by Krispy Kreme 
I want to change lanes
Pull into the drive through
Order a glazed doughnut.

I breathe hard
Circular breaths
No stops between rise & fall 
Inhalation exhaling.

Waiting to see the nurse
To wait and see the Dr.
To wait for two biopsies
To wait for both results.

Reminded of being alone
The room has a small tv
The View is on
It diverts my attention.

The gown has only one tie
I can't figure out how to knot it.
The Dr. enters with hands in prayer 
His fingers open like a scallop.

Wet with afterbirth the color of Venus
My muscles squeezed tight
Betrayed by conversation's order
He said, "We can beat it!"