Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Are you mad at God?

"But everyone is mad at God for something."

I heard those words while I sat in a lavender painted extra-bedroom that served as a healing room for a woman who claimed to work with angels.  I repeated what she said, "Everyone is mad at God for something?"

This statement did not compute with my mental capacity at that time.  I wrinkled my nose and replied, "What would I be mad at God for, he didn't do anything to me."

The notion that everyone is mad at God or Divinity had me puzzled.  If we, as humans, live in grace and faith, where is there room for anger?  Anger versus Appreciation, seemed to be a great name for a title bout.  It wasn't that I denied I had any anger at God, no, I was totally open to explore any hidden anger I held for any Deity.

I started to notice other people's anger at God, and then some of my clients started to confess to me that they had a deep feeling of anger at God.  A general 'pissed-off-ness' pervaded the stories told as I worked with my clients.  I looked more closely at this void I seemed to have for any anger at God.

When I moved to Nashville, I started working with a lovely woman who used a specialized light therapy.  It was during a session with her when I discovered that I too was furious with God.  As I lay on her sofa, breathing rapidly, as if I was reliving a piece of the deepest suffering, I said, "If it all ends in death, why be born at all?"

There it is was, here it is:  my anger at God.  If my life was to end in death, why did he create me in the first place.  It seemed like the cruelest of jokes, the meanest of tricks, the most illogical expression of creation.  Anke, the woman who worked with me, repeated the words I just said, "If it all ends in death, why be born at all?"

This morning, I am reflecting on the nature between Duality and Unity.  In duality thinking, of course we are separated from our Divinity nature.  Unity implies that the Divine and I are united.  We are one; we all are One.  However, reflecting back on a Logic Class I attended, which was mandatory curriculum as a freshman at Gonzaga University, an All or Nothing argument is not always the most sound argument.

Nothing versus Something, Duality over Unity, or is the true secret of creation in the lines of a song I have heard sung so sweetly, "Spirit and Nature Dancing Together, Victory to Spirit, Victory to Nature."  That creation is endless, never beginning, ceasing to end, just a commingling of energy and densities of matter.